Things I’ve learnt as a pastors wife; part 1 of many.

  • Highlighter pens make enforcing time off a little easier, with a splash of colour.
  • It’s ok to walk in to their office and tidy up their desk, because let’s face it, they don’t care either way as long as their commentary is still open on the right page.
  • Tea is always the answer, unless of course you move to America, and then iced tea is often the answer.
  • Sometimes you just have to let them talk theology at you for 20 minutes straight as you drive, and then confuse matters even more by asking how this makes a difference to your day to day life. Ah, time to rethink how to present that sermon then. I think this is called ‘bringing them back down to earth’…
  • American congregants win at grilling your dinner for you — maybe because they have sunshine, they can actually use the BBQ more than twice a year.
  • Don’t get in to the habit of analysing your partners sermons for them, or they will expect this every week. Instead, lower their expectations on week one by saying ‘if you want to know how the sermon was received in the pews, ask a congregant who didn’t hear your thoughts all week long as you planned it.’
  • Nod and smile when the pastor comes home talking about bugs in the church buildings and ladybugs in the manse office bathroom, and then freaks out at a spider in your own hallway.
  • Bring tissues with you everywhere you go, because the pastor doesn’t always remember. Especially in advance of weddings, ensure pastor has tissues to hand — three to be precise. One for her, two for the couple.
  • Don’t expect meal times to be at a regular time each evening because church isn’t that simple. Sometimes they meet at 6.30, sometimes 7.30, sometimes nowhere near your house so you need to leave at 5.30. Whatever happens, carry a bag of crisps (yes, America, I mean chips).
  • Enforce days off as best as you can, because their job can take up 7 days a week.
  • Don’t go to church at the same time as them on a Sunday morning, but drive yourself there only a few minutes before the service starts. This way, you can’t be roped in to doing anything at the last minute, but can sit back and drink your tea.
  • You can’t expect a routine of any kind, because each week is different. That is normal and fine, but a little trickier to balance when you yourself have no routine either. See previous points about days off going in the diary!
  • If you’re ever hungry, not to worry, food isn’t far away when church is involved.
  • If you ever doubted your partners competitive side, send them on a youth scavenger hunt around town, and bump in to them in Walmart as they have a bow and arrow in their hand. Hide, before you get roped in to anything.
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One thought on “Things I’ve learnt as a pastors wife; part 1 of many.

  1. Lorna, having been both a pastors partner and a pastor you have hit the nail on the head. Such an excellent summary of living with a pastor.

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